[opening theme music]
Somebody please cue that bird?
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats Oooh yeah♪
♪ Who do you call When you want some pepperoni?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Right on!♪
♪ They're stepping out crime♪
♪ And you know That ain't baloney♪
♪ There's Speedy Cerviche He's the leader of the bunch♪
♪ That's right! A heck of a fighter♪
♪ Makes a heck of a lunch.♪
♪ And little Polly Esther♪
♪ Who's never afraid That's me!♪
♪ Of going into battle When the bad guys invade.♪
♪ Here's Guido Anchovis A wild romantic rover.♪
♪ This cat gets down down With a love hangover♪
♪ Here come the Pizza Cats They're so bad.♪
♪ They've got more fur Than any turtle ever had!♪
♪ They're stronger Than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than old cheese♪
♪ Stronger than dirt♪
♪ Step on their tails♪
♪ Get off my tail♪
♪ And you're gonna get hurt Don't hurt me♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime All over town♪
♪ Four, three, two, one♪
♪ The Pizza Cats Are on the run♪
♪ The Big Cheese is the villain Who's lower than low.♪
♪ It's a rotten shame He lives in Little Tokyo.♪
♪ We've got a nasty Bad Bird And some nasty Ninja Crows.♪
♪ As soon as someone finds The script♪
♪ We might begin the show.♪
♪ Sit back and rest your feet And turn the sound up high♪
♪ And if you want The full effects♪
♪ Go eat a pizza pie♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
[narrator] Our story begins as Spritz
is delivering a worm an anchovy special to a small
but boring village which overlooks Lake Otama.
It says here to deliver it to Lake Otama Village
but no one's here.
[narrator] Spritz's situation is dire indeed
for when he left Pizza Cat headquarters
he forget to ask for two essential things,
an address and a phone number.
[crow grunts] Hey pizza man.
-[Spritz sighs] -[crow] That's for us.
-Bring over here. -Hey guys nice hats.
One large worm with anchovy.
That's the one all right.
Just looks at those worms will ya.
So fresh I can swear they still wiggling.
[both grunting]
Sure is nice to be appreciated
by a couple of gourmets like you.
[narrator] Little does Spritz realize
that the two pizza munches are members of the gang controlled
by the Big Cheese.
Who's latest nefarious scheme
is being hatched at this very moment.
Nefarious.
Hmm, I'll have to look that one up.
Jeez looks like this place is deserted.
I wonder where everyone is. Huh?
How weird. Where'd all this fog come from?
[animal squeaking]
[Spritz gasps] What was that?
Weird sounds at a fogy lake, the perfect conditions
for finding prehistoric monsters.
I've always wanted to catch one of those things,
now is my chance.
Huh? [Spritz screaming and grunting]
[narrator] Three days later...
There's been no sign of Spritz for three days.
I don't care if he was delivering to the North Pole
he should be back.
Unless he forgot snowshoes.
Look, anything is possible.
He could have met up with a prehistoric monster
or be playing in a hot poker game.
We can only hope that it's a monster.
[Al Dente grunts]
Let's see now, pickles,
and egg salad and potato chips.
Well mustn't forget the tanning lotion.
Sorry but your picnic will have to wait.
[Speedy grunts] There's no reason to wait Mr. Dente,
after all we are going to Lake Otama, right?
It's a really beautiful spot.
[Speedy] You should come along with us.
We'll have a great time: campfires, weenie roast
toasted marshmallows and also--
-Stop with that, your imbeciles. -[Speedy and Guido scream]
If those two really care about Spritz
they wouldn't be thinking about a picnic.
They're terrible.
They certainly are.
A good friend is in trouble and they're packing?
[narrator] That's easy for her to say
she's already packed.
If he is playing poker
tell him never to try to fill an inside straight.
-[Francine and Polly] Yes! -[Guido and Speedy] Sir!
[theme music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They make great pizza But that ain't all♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're ready to fight When you need 'em just call♪
♪ They know how to stop crime Just do what they say.♪
♪ If you don't want a bad time Stay out of their way!♪
♪ Oh I love those cats♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ The heroes Who always wear fur♪
[narrator] At last, it's launch time folks.
I can't tell how excited I am.
[Francine] I'll be launching the Pizza Cats
as soon as I finish this video game.
Hey, I won!
[Francine cheers]
We'll be launching now and nothing[indistinct].
Watch the Samurai Pizza Cats
zoom right past you on their way
to Lake Otama to save the day!
It's show time folks!
Now you know so hold on tight!
Here we go!
Everybody knows that cats can't fly
it doesn't make any sense at all.
There's no need for it make sense dear,
this is a cartoon.
-[Momma Mutt grunts] -What's that?
[Momma Mutt grunts] I have no idea.
I wish we knew who ordered that worm and anchovy pizza
it might be an important clue.
I'm airsick and his talking worm and anchovy.
Thanks a lot!
What about those prehistoric monsters?
Don't you worry Polly with me on the case
those ditsy dinosaurs wouldn't dare show up.
[narrator] What a remarkable coincidence
- you hear that sound? -[dinosaur squeaks]
[narrator] Guess who!
[animals screaming]
[Tyrannosaurus roaring]
[both crying and screaming]
[both screaming]
No, please don't hurt me. [screams]
[cyclops] Tag, you're in. [moans]
[robots laughing]
Scaring these simple peasants not only creates chaos
-it's fun. -[Jerry Atrick grunts]
[Big Cheese laughing]
[Big Cheese] Love that Cyclops.
[Tyrannosaurus roaring]
And that pink Tyrannosaurus is a scary little number.
[geisha laughing] Attendance anybody?
If she is not counter, what?
-[Big Cheese laughing] -Try and get you a date.
Yes, my plan was perfect. We've got plenty of captives
to work in the mines and the village is deserted.
I think it's time for us to talk about your breath.
You could brush more than once a year.
-No offense. -[Big Cheese laughing]
No offense taken.
I appreciate your attempt at humor
as feeble as it may have been.
What? Who you calling feeble?
Call me, I can't imagine who's the only other person here.
His chief advisor deserves more respect that to be sent
into the field like a common foot soldier
to carry prisoners.
If the Big Cheese weren't paying the bills
I wouldn't stand for it
after all I've been made idea
some of our finest establishments-- [groaning]
What's wrong with you?
I'm a little fatigue.
[narrator] Meanwhile our samurais seeks a solution
to the sudden snatching of Spritz.
I just love alliteration.
Well, here we are at Late Otama Village
but there's no sign of Spritzer or anyone else for that matter.
Hey what's that over there in the ground Speedy?
-Looks like dirt. -Now listen.
We'll split up.
One of us is bound to find someone.
[Guido] I wouldn't be so sure of that Polly.
Whoever nailed up those boards
wasn't worried about having to get back in.
[Princess Vi] I'll set you onto Prisoner Island!
-Princess Vi -Why she here?
Who cares.
If someone it doesn't guide me around Lake Otama
you're all gonna be sorry you ever draw.
Please Princess Vi, have a heart.
We're frighten with all the terrible monster
that we've seen.
Nutcases all of ya, nutcases.
-Well Guido what do you think? -The whole village is crazy.
[platypus] All of us have them seen Princess Vi,
you've gotta believe us.
[animal with brown hat] We know we've missed our fish quota
but we can't go near the lake, it's too risky.
But I want sushi.
All right you, tell me
what this monster of yours look like
and when what it was doing and where we can find it.
His face has only one eye
which is very scary as you can imagine.
Jeez the one I saw was made of metal
and it giggle the whole time.
The one I saw was a geisha goblin
it had huge lips and was even uglier then you.
Let's see now, a geisha made of a metal with one eye.
[Princess Vi sighs]
-Like this? -[all screaming]
That was just my first try.
Now let's see, how about this?
[all laughing]
And how about this one?
-Oh dear! -[Princess Vi grunting]
-Did it look like this? -[All laughing]
-[Princess Vi] This? -[all crying]
-[Princess Vi] This? -[laughing, grunting and crying]
[Princess Vi grunting and screaming]
[all] Please princess have mercy.
Idiots, that will teach you don't laugh at me.
Take them to the prisoner island.
It's all beginning to add up.
I'd say all the rumors we've been hearing are true.
You mean, Dan rather wears his toupee to bed?
Oh no!
Not that! I meant all those stories about the monsters.
Besides which I promise Dan I'd never tell.
[narrator] Meanwhile Spritz has discovered
the purpose of Big Cheese reign of terror
by joining the underground.
But it isn't exactly the underground he had in mind.
Keep digging you.
-Go on, that's it. -[Spritz grunting]
[narrator] But Big Cheese, who see has discovered
a vein of pure gold on the Lake Otama
and his captives are being forced to dig it up
Whether they dig it or not.
[Spritz grunting]
I've got do three things: get a message to the Pizza Cats,
change my underwear--
[screams] Keep digging!
[Spritz] And find some aspirin.
[Big Cheese laughing]
As usual my plans are working out perfectly.
Just as I expected,
soon the gold will give us the power demolish the social order
and replace it with chaos.
And the people will be so desperate for leadership
that they'll gratefully accept our total domination and control
they'll take their orders from us.
It's gonna be wonderful.
I wonder are you incurably deranged or is it temporary?
[Jerry and Big Cheese laughing]
-There's not funny! -Of course not.
I've got so much gold
that I thought I'd send a few small statues
to those who deserve them.
But which one is the real me?
They're all lovely of course
but I'm particularly fond of
the ballerina and the muscle builder.
What are you think?
I know it's difficult to choose
because they're all so beautifully me.
I think that one in the center is very nice.
-What's that? -I meant to say on the left.
Really? And yet the one on the right had a definitive
yet understated elegance wouldn't say?
Oh no doubt about that.
[Big Cheese] But it doesn't [indistinct]
my quintessential essence.
Now he's an art critic. What next?
[Spritz gaps]
[guard grunts]
[Spritz imitates a clock]
Three o'clock. [grunts]
[Spritz sighs]
I gotta get this message out to the cats
but Bad Bird's gang is watching us every minute.
And even if I do get it out, how they find it?
Hey, a garbage.
Well they'll either find it or it'll be recycled.
[sonar beeping]
Those stupid fools they're still trying
-to investigate Otama Lake. -Stupid fools.
You repeat everything I say.
I say stupid fools, you say stupid fools.
Can't you come up with anything original?
-How's this? -[Big Cheese screams]
It's beautiful,
hard to imagine there's any monsters around here.
[Speedy gasps]
Wonder what this is.
[casual music]
[Speedy sighs]
[narrator] Fortunately Speedy has found Spritz note
unfortunately he can't read Chinese.
Oh well, win a few, lose a few.
There's more here than meets the eye.
You can say that again.
-There's more here than-- -[Polly] Guido!
[Speedy whistling]
[Guido] Were there any clues in that note you found Speedy?
[Speedy] No just a laundry list.
[Polly and Guido gasp]
[Tyrannosaurus roaring]
-Sounds like action time. -Yeah!
Right!
Sorry about this guys but I think you forgot something.
-[Polly and Guido] Ops! -We can't start a fight...
without our traditional intro.
[casual music]
Guido Anchovis special kind of guy.
Polly Ester foxy smart and a quick fighter.
The bad guys don't stand a chance against fluff power.
And my name is Speedy Cerviche
better known as Mr. Cool.
[narrator] And what motivates this intrepid trio?
Next week's paycheck!
That mountain is weird.
You mean because it's got eyes?
[Polly] Or because it's moving?
[Guido] Or because those thundering
footsteps we're hearing?
[Tyrannosaurus roaring]
Or because of those giant teeth?
I don't mind creative animation
but big dinosaurs is carrying things to far,
[Speedy and Guido] even for the Pizza Cats, don't you think?
If our producers are watching
please do me a favor, like now would ya.
I didn't know that Pizza Cats were involved in that caper.
What a great opportunity to get rid of them once and for all.
Now you've had it buster! [grunting]
[Polly screaming]
[Polly gasps and screams]
[Polly grunting]
[Polly screams]
-[Polly gasps] -How about a kiss?
[Polly screaming]
Go pick someone of your own size,
-will ya? -[Big Cheese laughing]
What's the matter little Polly? Oh I just love this.
[Speedy grunting] I was wondering
does anybody know where we're going?
Wherever you do don't stop.
[all scream]
Terrific you say don't stop
and we end up in a swamp full of quicksand.
Quicksand? Then we're all gonna drawn.
-[Guido] Drawn? -Don't worry guys
we'll find way out.
-Got any idea Speedy? -Absolutely not at all!
[Spritz grunts]
Try to escape and you'll have to watch
Pizza Cats rerun for a week.
[Spritz] So they go that far.
Well I can't let that stop me.
I got to find a way out of here.
[Spritz] Aha!
Looks like the drainage pipe attached to this toilet
is the only way up.
So be it. [toiled flushes]
[both gasps]
If we don't think fast we're done for it.
Real constructive Polly,
-thanks. -[Guido grunts]
[Spritz] No one said it was gonna be easy.
But sewer swimming wasn't in the contract.
[Spritz gasps]
I'm almost to the end. Great!
[Spritz sighs] Well, what do you know?
[narrator] Spritz's escape route has led him directly
and conveniently the Pizza Cat headquarters
which now that we know where their water comes from
doesn't say a whole lot for their pizzas.
Hey, give us a break will ya?
It's still the best pizza in town.
[narrator] Back up to swamp the courage
of our three heroes remains undaunted.
[indistinct chatter]
-[narrator] Sort of. -[all screaming]
-Look you could forget that-- -[Big Cheese laughing]
I love to hear them beg.
[Spritz grunts] What is that thing?
That's either the machine
that created all those monsters
or a really inefficient fire engine.
[narrator] Spritz knows precisely what to do.
This calls for the unstoppable force of bucktail sucker.
What's that? What's going on here?
[robot] Console auto-launch.
The light's on but nobody is home.
I don't know about you two but I'm
-tempted to struggle! [screams] -[Guido and Polly scream]
-[Guido gasps] -[Speedy] Spritz!
Quick, grab the rope and hold on.
[Spritz grunting and straining]
-[Speedy, Polly and Guido grunt] -[Spritz grunting and straining]
[Spritz sighs] Your shapes are closer to Remington's.
And my uniform was just clean.
-Look! -[robot] Bonkers.
Does not compute.
That machine is what caused all the problems around here.
Yeah, we thought so.
Hey Big Cheese if you're in there
you'd better get out right now
'cause I'm about to slice
that machine of yours into pieces.
I'd like to recommend the cat slash
which under the circumstances would seem highly appropriate.
You got it Spritz!
[narrator] You've seen it all before fans
and you're seeing it again.
The swirling big flame he convenient hop top scabbard
And Speedy unshields the magical Ginsu sword.
[Speedy grunts] Cat slash. [screaming]
[loud explosion]
[Big Cheese grunting and screaming]
No fair. [screaming]
The bad guys don't stand a chance.
[Guido and Polly] Ta-da!
Pizza power!
[narrator] Meanwhile Princess Vi is brought to tears.
I've been here for days
-and haven't seen one monster. -[Big Cheese screams]
-[Princess Vi gasps] -[Big Cheese screaming]
[Big Cheese grunts]
-[subjects gasps] -Gracious, what's going on?
[Big Cheese grunting]
Now you listen to me you ugly alien monster.
I wanna know why you've been terrorizing my subjects
and creating havoc around Lake Otama Village.
I'm not an alien Princess Vi
-don't you recognize me? -[Princess Vi] Silence.
[Big Cheese screams]
You monsters think you're clever
but I'm too smart to fall for your baloney,
go back where you came from, now!
Oh come on Princess Vi get me a break, will ya.
-Where do you want it? -[Big Cheese grunts]
In the arm, leg, back, hair?
See you later.
-I doubt it. -Always wanna to go on a cruise.
It's so relaxing.
Yeah, that a good life.
That what this is.
Huh? [gulping water]
Good, so much for that, I sore.
If he wants to know where it is
I'll tell him we have to melt it down
to pay for his dry-cleaning bill.
[crowd cheering]
[narrator] And so the imagine meted mystery
of the phenomenal monsters of Lake Otama is solved.
And as our heroes are cheered by crowds of adoring admirers
they know what's truly important
is that they can take off those uncomfortable costumes
and relax until the next episode.
Ladies and gentleman the Samurai Pizza Cat
fan club oath.
The Pizza Cats are Samurai
and I'd like to note.
Their antics take your breath away.
Like furballs in your throat.
We kittens are special breed, we never call retreat.
[Guido] Whenever Big Cheese knocks us down.
We land upon our feet.
[narrator] So hail to thee, oh Pizza Cat
please ring your little bell.
Although you may be pen and ink
you know you'll fight like--
Pizza Cats!
[theme music]
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ We hope you liked the show ♪
♪ It's the best That we could do♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ If you could do better Then we'd leave it up to you♪
♪ Just a reminder You might like to know♪
♪ The cats will be back For another big show♪
♪ Oh gosh.♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ They're fighting crime Oh yes♪
♪ All over town.♪
♪ Two, four, six, eight.♪
♪ Why do we expectorate?♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪
♪ Read all the credits♪
♪ So you'll know Who did the work♪
♪ Samurai Pizza Cats♪